To forgive means to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake; to give up resentment of or claim to requital (something given in return, compensation, or retaliation)

What forgiveness IS:

·      A decision to release

·      A decision to embrace

·      A decision to pardon

·      A decision to grow



What forgiveness IS NOT:

·      Forgetting. When you forgive someone your memory isn’t suddenly wiped clean of the offense. It doesn’t mean it never happened.

·      Regaining trust. You don’t immediately trust the person who injured you when you forgive them. Trust is earned, and they must earn trust again.

·      Removal of consequences. Even though you forgive someone, they may still have consequences to face because of their actions.

·      Instant emotional healing. Emotions heal with time. Some pain runs deep and takes longer to heal.

·      Reconciliation. The relationship may be closer than before or not, but most likely it will never be the same.

·      A leverage of power. Granting forgiveness does not give a person power over the person being forgiven. That would violate the entire principle and purpose of forgiveness.

·      Condoning or excusing a wrong. And it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. We can forgive the person without excusing the act.

·      Based on the wrongdoer’s actions. Even if the other person never apologizes and asks for forgiveness, we should forgive.

·      Conditional. It’s not an If you do this…this…and this, then, and only then, I will forgive you.

·      Justice. Justice usually involves an acknowledgment of wrongdoing, an apology, and some form of reward or punishment. Forgiveness should occur whether justice is withheld or not.

·     Changing the other person, their actions, or their behavior.